The Home of Extraordinary Minds: Nuke'm High 1-3 review

Toxie, the radioactive squirrel!!

I first encounted my glipse of Troma Films when at a friend’s house and seeing a deformed character holding a mop with a blind woman in a home filled with trash. Immediatley catching my attention I was informed that the film was The Toxic Avenger by Troma Films. Toxic Avenger is Troma films most well known film, and the main character often appears in their other films such as Nuke em High. (1986) Anyone who has seen Troma films knows that they are B rated movies, with corny effects, silly jokes and down right wierd as hell plots. Now I hope all you cretins out there understand what to expect from Nuke Em High. All three of the fims show lots of skin, crazy outfits that I wish people had the balls to wear in real life adorned with spikes, skulls, leather and studs. Nuke Em high 2 mentions that their students wear clothes as such because they all have small lockers. I found that to be quite hilarious. The films are based on the fact that a Atomic High School is conviently near a nuclear power plant. The rebels in the first film are know as the cretins and they sell weed that is contaminated with green radioactive goo. We all know what that means..crazy shit starts to happen to the students after they smoke the pot. One chick becomes pregnant spewing out a thing that looked like godzilla sperm into the toilet which later on grew into a large monster and the school gets destroyed.
Nuke Em High 2: Subhumanoid meltdown (1991) begins where the first one ended by reconstructing the college naming it Tromaville Institute of Technology. Otherwise know as T.I.T. ha, get it..tit? The plots are pretty damned different then the first one where professor Holt has created subhumanoids which are basically people with mouths as belly buttons who have no feelings and are grown to do boring jobs that nobody wants to do. When overwhelmed they meltdown and turn into this green piece of shit with a beard regardless of it being a man or woman before they melted down.

Aren't I fucking cute?!!

We follow around this meathead dude who can’t get any chicks till he takes part of an experiment that Professor Holt is conducting and he fucks a subhumainod named Victoria and falls in love. His purpose is to save the love of his life by getting a serum from Holt to prevent her from melting down. He obtains the serum saves her life and goes on to save her from a giant radioactive squirrel who flips all the citizens off.
Nuke Em High 3: The Good, The bad, The subhumanoid (1994)
The giant squirrel that looks like a bad monster straight of of power rangers proceeds to destroy the town and gets killed finally by chasing a bomb disguised as a bomb. Can you believe that the two main characters have a baby? I know totally gross, but hey the kids is born and doesn’t look that bad. Acutally he looks exactly the same as his father from the previous movie. Dude what the fuck. Talk about reusing the same actor…3 times. Now hes the main character, the father and…woah evil twin? yup there is an evil twin that is raised to create havoc with the bad guys of the college called “the squirrels.” His name…is Dick. I really do find all this shit to be quite funny. Both brothers have no idea that the other one exists until they both get super powers of having hands that light up. Woah! Their hands blink and help achieve orgasm. True story. Professor Holt helps raise the evil twin. She is by far my favorite character, who else can rock a 6 ft tall hair style and decorate it with popcorn every once in awhile?

Wonder how much junk she stores in her hair....

The two brothers finally meet and they do good by combining their light up hands together, yay! Wait, they meltdown and die into a ball of green goo. Adlai (good brother) has a girlfriend that he leaves behind, but shes funny as fuck. She drools for no apparent reason and its not just a bit of drool its like river of water that falls out at once at random times. Shes also got a really cool hair do. She puts them into some sort of reactor after they melt down and guess what comes out. Another baby. The two brothers somehow combined into one and became a baby all over again. The mayor is totally happy and nobody seems to miss the two brothers at all which I found quite odd. Maybe none of Tromaville citizens have no feelings at all. I give these films a 4 out of 5. Troma films are my kind of comedy, and you can tell that they dont have a high budget at all and none of that bothers me. Out of all the Nuke Em High, the best one in my opinion is the first one. The 2nd and 3rd are close runner ups. A forth movie was planned but never executed entirely. If you have seen any of these movies, let me know what you thought.

-Sycka